fashion. wine. design... and my life.

Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’

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…things are never what they seem.

In Uncategorized on March 26, 2013 at 6:48 pm

blogLooking out of my kitchen window while peeping at facebook, tunes from Pandora floating in the background (Beyonce today — don’t judge) and sippin’ on my favorite coffee with organic half and half, I saw my friend’s status… and it was like she read my mind.

Six simple words… “things are never what they seem.”

My shoulders twitch from an immediate chuckle and I’m now wearing a huge grin.  From over 8,000 miles and a different time zone away she always appears at the most appropriate moment.  Haha… I’m chalking it up to energy —  how in the world did she know that I was JUST about to write a blog on the very same subject?!

Don’t let me lose you… and please don’t wander off so quickly, for I am not about to blog about anything negative.

Her words, “things are never what they seem” are incredibly refreshing to me and embody one of the most important life lessons.  Simply put, we all have unique stories.  In turn… completely embracing this truth and refraining from applying your own perceptions to the life of another (I know… much easier said than done) is the key to finding that ethereal happiness we all desire.  Right?

Countless people seem to have contemplated this and figured it out.

How easily can one find quotations by Confucius stating “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated” or Theodore Roosevelt saying that “Comparison is the thief of joy” … what about our very own “Live your best Life” Oprah Winfrey and her many mantras… “With every experience, you alone are painting your own canvas, thought by thought, choice by choice.”

Haha… calling Dr. Richards.  Dr. Richards?

Naaaaaaah.  I’m not a psychologist.

I’m creative.

I’m an artist, an interior designer… a stella & dot stylist.  Actually, “completely right-brained” might offer a more precise description.

Emotion, intuition and nonverbal communication steer my actions and furnish me with insight.  Couple that with over four decades of wisdom (in the form of life lessons) a splash of analytical tendencies and a wholesome love of self… I’m thinking that in itself could afford a figurative “Dr.” status!  Haha… just kidding!

Seriously though… I’m just like you.  Working hard, trying to be a productive member of society/my community, wanting each day to feel good and basically, be happy.  And of course…sometimes, lose sight, start glancing at that “greener grass” and make assumptions about what may or may not be in another’s world…  shit, I’m human, eh?!

But… I always come back to the notion and much-needed filter, “things are never what they seem”.  These words act as a refreshing reminder and enable me to completely appreciate what I have in my world.  Because the bottom line is, we ALL have unique stories… and discounting yours while elevating someone else’s will only generate for you, a long (actually, it should read: looooooooooooooooooog) road of internal discontentment.  Yep… I said it!

The past 54 days have been some of the most enlightening days in my lifetime and have fortified this belief.

Since shaving my head, the amount of feedback that has been forwarded my way has been incredibly humbling and at times surprising.

Without going into great detail… the feedback stems from being showered with complements, told that I was an inspiration/brave, asked if I was undergoing chemotherapy and even received an embarrassingly unwanted head-rubbing.  Some have revealed to me that they could never see themselves doing this and why they couldn’t… others told me that when my hair grows back I should think about wearing “this” type of style and they proceed to tell me what “this” should be… and others have simply embraced my new look… and left it at that.

Hey, I know why I shaved my head and I am still comfortable and delighted with my decision.

But, going back to… “things are not what they seem” — with each response, my “right-brained” self used the comments as a gauge. A dual-sided gauge no doubt, for surely those that decided to give me feedback had some sort of preconceived notion as to why I would or would not shave my head.  Sometimes what I thought an individual might say, they didn’t… or, what I thought they wouldn’t say, they did.

Can you imagine 54 days straight of “something that someone said or did” granting you with continuous “ah-ha” moments?

Well…welcome to my world… and I would NOT trade it for anything!

Surely my friend didn’t have my hair adventures on her mind when she posted her status… but I can guarantee you that in some way, shape or form… her reason for posting her statement directly relates to we ALL have a unique story.  AND simply… embrace it for what it is!

55Tomorrow is day 55…

with an open-mind, I enthusiastically await what comes my way.

Cheers!

-k

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en-er-gy…

In Uncategorized on September 27, 2012 at 6:57 am

A quick Google search yields this simple definition:   The strength and vitality required for sustained mental or physical activity.

Delve further, and naturally you will find an abundance of definitions, information and explanations… and all correct in their interpretation of the word “en-er-gy.”  Such an intriguing and expansive concept.  Mysterious en-er-gy.  Electric and thermal energy.  Chemical en-er-gy.

Kinetic.

Attractive.

ENERGY!

As of late (just for a reference, probably for the past 9 years), I have been consciously focused on energy.

Mainly… the chemical energy that one emits and receives when they interact with another. Truth be told… it is almost to an obsessive state.  I am going to blame it on being an artist and an Aquarius… ok, ok… let’s blame it on my expressive soul.   Bottom line, I am dependent on energy.  And clarifying just what “energy” is to me, I should say that I am dependent on stimulating, positive, passionate, and revitalizing energy.  Not anything far from the norm, eh?  Surely, we all crave this type of connection.

I know this to be true:

The daily connections that you make with others contain energy  that is often not recognized and even taken for granted.  The energy generated during these connections can feed you… or they can deplete your spirit.  Acknowledge it or not… this type of energy that is transferred from one person to another  is ever-present and surprisingly powerful.   It is a force… and whether it be good or bad, it is a force that steers you towards those that can and will reciprocate that same energy.  And that ain’t nothing but the truth!

Nope.  Nope.  Nope.

I’m not preaching… just sharing.

Sharing because I am confident that there are others who “get this” and seek this very same connection.  Sharing because sometimes (as my brother would say) “it is a beautiful thang” to be reminded that what you emit, you attract.  Sharing simply because… hey, it’s what I do!

Indulge me for a moment…

Think about the people who you keep close in your circle.  Your spouse or your partner might be exempt for this example… so think about extended family members and your friends.  Co-workers and acquaintances.  There is a varied mix, eh?

Now… of this mixture, think about the ones that you tend to gravitate towards.  Repeatedly gravitate towards.  This is probably most applicable to those that you consider friends… think about the ones that without a doubt, you seek out and you genuinely enjoy their company.

Now ask yourself this…

Why them?

Haha… I’ll tell you.  It is energy baby.  It all boils down to en-er-gy!

The connections they provide are stimulating… right?  When you give them your energy, they respond by fueling you and giving that energy right back to you.  A continuous flow.  There is a spark… a magnetism… (as we say this together) there is en-er-gy!  And to repeat myself… that ain’t nothing but the truth!

This is the point at which my husband would tilt his head to the side and offer a chuckle… although he is not on a soapbox like I am, he understands.

Seriously… I pour that word on him like it is a fine wine.  The word “en-er-gy” has become embedded in my vocabulary and I am constantly using it to describe my daily activities… especially my social endeavors.  Haha… as funny as this may sound, for me, en-er-gy  is as essential to me as the air I breathe.

Naaaah, he and I will probably never share the same devotion for the concept of energy.  But we do both recognize its presence and from the sideline, he does appreciate (maybe even admire) my overzealous approach.

That circle I spoke of earlier… your go-to  peeps, you really wouldn’t hold them in that regard if there wasn’t that connection.  Where I find sippin’ on a succulent wine with friends while listening to come fantastic music incredibly enjoyable, a connection via energy with that group is a nonnegotiable — a must!  It just is what it is… and for me, what it will always be!

I know that you are there as well.  Perhaps you aren’t as vocal with your observations as I am…maybe never even analyzed it to this degree, but there.  As adults, we sometimes have the mind-set of “life is short” and we spend our days/time accordingly.  So then I say… having a preference as to who you gravitate towards and an awareness as to where you deposit your energy is the perfect means of ensuring that your time is well spent.

Relocating to the Washington DC area temporarily upset my circle, leaving me with my favorite go-to family members and my best girlfriends dispersed around the globe.  As I keep in contact with them, I am slowly but surely finding my energy in new and unexpected places.

But that’s my take…

What about you?

I’m only putting this out there because I am curious as to how others grasp this concept…. surely not to be swayed, just enlightened.

Those energy connections are paramount.  Haha… and no pun intended… they are electrical and I am drawn to them!

Cheers!

-k

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…and with this, my fashion feet stay firmly planted!

In Uncategorized on August 27, 2012 at 10:13 am

Funny how such simple thoughts can easily transition into something so significant.

You know… thoughts that to others my appear trivial.  Frivolous thoughts that we often apply to our lives subconsciously and somehow they evolve into these self-imposed rules… rules that we abide by with resolute dedication.

Haha… things like which direction to place the toilet paper on the holder (ahem… flap OVER in my house), what color dishes you purchase (only white for me for I love the way the clean canvas shows off the food) or what sock/shoe goes on first (left for me… always left).

I tend to do this MORE than I care to mention.  My friends would probably blame it on slight obsessive compulsive tendencies… but I’m going to chalk it up to me… just being me!  If I had to apply a ratio, I would say that for the most part these self-imposed rules air on a quirky side and truly are only beneficial to me.  However, there are moments that merit an “ah-ha”… and these are the moments in which I feel compelled to share.

In writing my last blog, I stumbled upon yet another “note” written on Sunday, 15 March 2009.

Titled “Random thoughts regarding fashion…” I posted it on my facebook page, unsure of how it would be received.  Surprisingly, those self-imposed rules generated a healthy response. Hmmmmmm… perhaps I was onto something and had I listened to the advice of others, kishafwd.com could have been established much sooner, eh?!

Not a surprise when I say that in revisiting that post, it all still rings true today.  Actually… and I say this emphatically, I would say that when it comes to those fashion rules, I am steadfast.  Unwavering.  Haha… completely committed!

Soooooo, since I shared before, I eagerly share again.  The camaraderie of womanhood is and has always been the muse.

3 years later, here it goes again… but, since I do have those “mild” obsessive compulsive tendencies, I have added just a few thoughts (possibly slight interruptions in the original flow of the post)… all noted by the italics.

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Random thoughts regarding fashion…

For whatever reason, I have this overwhelming desire to write (as if I were this “in demand” stylist) a “real woman’s/on a budget, but I want to look fabulous” guide to fashion. Chuckle, if you must, but after reading, I do believe, that even the most hard to win critic, will walk away with a tip… or two.

I know, I know, you have read them in all of the magazines…

The essentials we all must own, the top 5, 10, 15, 25, gazillion things that everyone must wear… and most of us (me included) are somewhat addicted to the television shows, that steer the lost into the light… cough, cough “What Not To Wear” cough, cough…(for the record, I adore Stacy London and Clinton Kelly and would embrace an opportunity to chat with them both).  So check this out, I DID meet Stacy London, 15 April 2012 and she is just as energetic and spirited as I had imagined!
Nonetheless, we read, we watch, we try and wonder… whose advice do we follow, who is right?
All of them? None of them? Some of them?

The answer: they all have something to offer. And it is just that simple.

So ladies, if it were to have a title, let’s just call it “After a bit of trial and error, Kisha recommends…”

· First and foremost, be honest with yourself, without guilt or shame and learn your body type.  Embrace your assets and STOP worrying about what you don’t have.  Apple, pear, hour glass shapes… narrow hips, full hips, long torso, short torso, fuller breast and smaller breast… we learned in our middle school health classes that we were built differently.  So, discover what do you have.  Study your nude body in the mirror, jot down a few notes and let that be your roadmap when investing in your wardrobe. The result… all future purchases will only accentuate the positive!

· Once you figure out what is going to work for you, the next objective is to find who sells it!  You probably already know this, but it is worth repeating… every store is not going to work for your body type.  AND, there are probably stores that will work best for you when you are looking to purchase bottoms and others, which you will go to when needing tops.  This you will only discover by trying on, trying on and more trying on… perhaps a bit tedious in the beginning… but the payoff, once you discover “who” is for you… priceless!  All I will add is this:  Ladies, as we age… we must be willing to let go of some of the stores that no longer cater to our MAGNIFICENT age and body types.  There is a sophistication and incredible beauty in becoming older.  Our wardrobes should reflect that attitude.

· Invest a bit of extra money, in pieces of clothing that work for you and are a necessity for your lifestyle. We all have our favorite “inexpensive” store that we frequent for that one piece, for that one event… but, we do so knowing, that after a few washes, that item has a short lifespan in our closet. But, for those key items that we need for work, or home, or all of the after work cocktail parties – spend a bit more, invest in garments made with higher quality fabrics, launder them properly and you will quickly see your hard earned dollars go further.

· Own jeans that flatter your shape.  Can I say that again… own jeans that flatter your shape.  Yes, this can be grueling (no joke)… Make a decision as to how much you are willing to invest, do a bit of online research and take a friend (who will be honest) with you when you trying on the various styles.  Be patient and you too will have your “ah ha” moment.  And, if you already have that brand loyalty, and they work for you… stick to it and invest in several pairs.  A nice slim fitting jean in a dark (mildly distressed) wash takes me there!!!! YOWZA!

· With that said, and for those that know me, you will understand this next statement…
Once you find an item that works for you, purchase it in ALL of the colors that flatter your complexion.  And, before you think it… no, this will not lead to a boring wardrobe.  You have found the perfect fit of black pants… well; do they come in chocolate or charcoal? You found the ideal wrap sweater (my personal “I can’t live without”…gosh, truth be told, the list continues to grow and occasionally gets tweaked.  But I would have to add that adding pops of animal print is a beautiful thang!) get ALL of the colors that suit you… not your friends, not the photo in the magazine, but you… only you.  The fun comes in how you mix and match… reinvent the wheel, the “color wheel” that is! If you don’t own one, visit your local art store and for a few bucks, you are on your way to creating magnificent color schemes within your wardrobe.

· Last, but certainly not least… do not forget the accessories!
This is the ooooohh, laaa laaaaaahhh to defining your signature style.  How many ways can you reinterpret denim and a white tank… countless, because it is all about the accessories!  And, just to be clear, I am speaking about the shoes, the bag, the coat, the scarf, the jewelry, the shoes, the blazer, the tote, the earrings, the bracelet… do it right, and this will keep your secret “fashion” admirers wanting more, more and more.  The lovely part about accessories is that they come in a variety of price points… and often times, if implemented correctly in your wardrobe, the least expensive of accessories, look like a million bucks!  What a segue (and a shameless plug)… specking of accessories, I just celebrated  my one year anniversay as a stella & dot stylist.  Check me out at:  www.stelladot.com/kbr and www.facebook.com/kbrstylist   Not that I am pushing my favorites on anyone (which is why I haven’t mention any of my favorite stores… fashion is truly subjective and, truth be told, my favorites may not work for you body type) but… blazers are a nonnegotiable. They come in a variety of cuts and work for practically everyone!  As you build you accessory wardrobe, concentrate on what you determine are your staples… then from there, the sky is the limit!  Seriously… a structured blazer is a fashion lifesaver.  EVERY WOMAN should own at least a classic black blazer!

Not to be interpreted as a sermon… just me, spreading some love to my fellow girls.
It is important that we all feel simply amazing in our unique skin.  So, if my random thoughts gave you any insight… then I am humbled.  Perhaps, as you are shopping, you will chuckle and think of me as you are looking at yourself in the mirror, trying on one of your “new” favorites!

And there it is.

And, for the record:  Yes… to these rules I am forever loyal!

Cheers!

-k

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A note to my 42 year old self…

In Uncategorized on August 2, 2012 at 7:45 pm

What do you do with your notes to self?

You know, those personal collections of thoughts, repeated mantras and declarations that you remember or recite.  Notes to self that often are generated via a life lesson…  acting as an aid in maintaining our confidence, elevating our spirits, keeping us sane and/or reminding us that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

For me, the notes are nothing more than the randomness that constantly swirls throughout my head.  Poignant and witty bits of wisdom that present themselves daily and (THANK GOODNESS) as I age, become vividly crystal clear.

As a wife and a mother of a teenage son and a pre-teen daughter it is important and necessary that I have presence.  Even more so for my daughter, me being of sound mind, strong body and calm spirit plays a key factor in our relationships.

BUT, first and foremost, I am a woman.

An independent woman, a woman who works full-time outside of the household, a woman who has an artsy side and enjoys being social, a woman who takes pride in her appearance… and, as important and significant those roles are, I am a woman who is conscious about and determined to be defined as more than a wife and mother.  So, as a woman, I am adamant that presence starts with me!  And for BOTH of my children, I would encourage them to do the same.

Haha… not to get all “Oprah’ish” on you, but the reality is that my notes to self steer that path.  They keep me energized, balanced, allow me to reflect and in times when I lose focus, they do what Hansel and Gretel attempted to do with bread crumbs… they help me find my way home.

I bet there are an abundance of women (perhaps men too) who identify with me and my note to self.  We all do this… we jot down or think thoughts that will rejuvenate us and propel us forward… helps us to “get our minds right!”  It’s human nature, eh?

Wondering if I am alone… but my notes repeat themselves.  Like fashion trends, they are cyclical; coming in and out of season over time and when appropriate.  A few years into my fourth decade, I can easily spot and appreciate those patterns.  Haha… I keep a stash of notes and draw upon them frequently.

My favorite note to self, I keep as the sole information offered in my “about you” section on my facebook page:

“What I know to be true… Change is constant, inevitable and beautiful.  You should accept your imperfections.  Time heals all wounds… AND, this too shall pass!”

So elementary but specific to us all, eh?  Incredibly apropos for “life” and the myriad of situations and events one will encounter.

I recently stumbled across a random note to self that I quickly scribed in a matter of 10 minutes.  Written approximately 3 years ago, in reading it again I was compelled to share — actually with the hopes that in the future, my children might read and appreciate their mother’s candid thoughts.  At the time, I was given an assignment to write down 25 random thoughts.  These were my thoughts — and to this day, they continue to be relevant.

1. I absolutely love the color green.
2. Despite my imperfections, I think I am beautiful… and I wish more women embraced themselves in this manner.
3. My children are my heart… they are little apples off of the tree and I am often humored as to how they have adopted so many of their parent’s characteristics.
4. I love my husband’s shoulders.
5. I am so proud that my siblings and I have a wonderful and loving relationship.
6. I feel sorry for those that do not know the joy of having a great friend.
7. I love MAC eye shadows.
8. I should read more…
9. I enjoy the smell of coffee, yet I don’t really drink it (Haha..an update:  a busy work schedule and a need for caffeine, as of 2012, I occasionally drink coffee).
10. One day, I would like to go to Africa.
11. Music invigorates me.
12. I am an artist… in a perfect world, I would immerse myself into an art project… and everyday, create something magnificent with my hands.
13. I miss my grandmother.
14. I love my daughter’s hands… from an early age, they have always appeared wise and mature.
15. My son’s introspectiveness amazes me.
16. A great glass of wine and good company is a wonderful treat.
17. I love accessories… a fabulous pair of shoes, a snazzy handbag, the perfect coat….mmmmmmmm, it takes me there! ;)
18. I am always on the prowl for the perfect shade of red… both lips and hair!
19. I love to cook… and KNOW I should do it more often.
20. My children have a great dad.
21. Sometimes, I yell too much!
22. I enjoy decorating my house, your house… any house.
23. One day, I will own a dog… although, Ziggy, the cat, isn’t bad (as of 2012, we now have Izzy the cat).
24. I love listening to and watching my loved ones laugh.
25. I AM BLESSED!!!!

Haha… pretty much, that is me in a nutshell… do you feel as if you know me better?

Well, I definitely intend on frequenting this list often… and of course, continuing to write new notes.  But I do feel inclined to add a #26…and it reads as such:  I am happy!

Cheers!

-k